When You Don’t Have Kids

Is that what’s missing? When I’m seeking something better, something more?

When the world around me is no longer about me, is that what’s missing? When I don’t see myself as the most important, is that the way it was always supposed to be?

When I hear guys at work talking about their kids in T-ball, smiling so hard inside that it spills out of them, with such force that they revel in telling anyone about what happened over the weekend with their kid – I nod and move along and wonder – have I ever smiled like that?

When I’m told “you don’t really know what it’s like, you’ve never had kids” – is that what’s missing in my life?

When I’m no longer proud of me and I’m longing for something to be proud of – is that what having a kid is all about? Never running out of something to be proud of?